Generally, transgender men have a tendency to fall into patriarchal roles where they exhibit oppressive behaviour like: sexism, transmisogyny, classism, racism, binarism, ableism, etc.
- Some use slurs that do not apply to them, and they have no right to use. (i.e. the t slur)
- Some speak for the entire community when it is not their place.
- Some spread misinformation and perpetuate the “trans enough” mentality,
- Some body shame folks who look differently or do not “pass” according to their own bigoted normative standards.
- Some tone-police and try to silence folks who are not fellow transgender men in supposedly safe transgender spaces.
- Some deny their privilege and play the victim when being called out instead of taking responsibility for their actions.
- Many take up trans safe spaces and make trans women and other gender non-conforming folks feel unsafe or unwelcome.
- Some are just plain truscum and exhibit all of the aforementioned behaviours.
- I can go on and on…
And when I repeatedly use the word ‘some’, I actually mean ‘most’. This is not new information, anon. This has been going on for quite some time now, and the fact that people still have a hard time seeing this everywhere they go - in the media, on the streets, in our “safe spaces”, on the internet, etc. - astounds me to this day. It is fucking terrifying and sad.
Here are some more specific examples I have compiled.
Very important stuff for sure. I just think it’s more complicated than this and many other conversations on tumblr tend to show when speaking about problematic folks in our communities. I think we need to call folks out but also call them in and often the reasons for which people may exhibit these behaviours are due to a lot of really shitty oppression that they’ve faced. Which, OF COURSE, does not excuse it. At all. Though, I feel that some level of compassion needs to be expressed when these behaviours are acknowledged. Tbh in my queer community I’ve avoided most folks who are like this and only recently interacted with a bunch of trans essentialist dudebros and totally get why people feel unsafe around them and why they’re generally just shitty people to interact with. I certainly did not want to spend more than 5 minutes with them and couldn’t believe some of the shit they were saying. I’m still figuring out how to deal with these folks myself seeing as I have also always been confused, like this anon, as to why the community seems so unhappy with some trans men. It seems I just never met the people saying most of this shit to other people in our communities and recently had the unfortunate opportunity to be in dialogue with a few.
I’m perplexed as to how to engage in dialogue with folks like this? while still definitely challenging them but also making space for compassion around the internalized issues of transitional trauma and transphobia & cissexism (and perhaps misogyny and sexism)? Not everyone has the same experiences or access to the same education or process of unlearning. For instance, I think people often forget that the medical institution drills really cissexist and transphobic (for trans men notions that certainly reproduce patriarchal ideals!) ideas about gender into the heads of trans* folk who need to access those spaces. So, we have to account for varied experience… but I also don’t want to talk to dudebros ever. Conflicted. Thoughts?